One day...
by padawansdawn
Summary: My first fic... It`s a short, very sad story about Maron... check it out! R/R!!! please!!!


What is when you are feeling like everything has stopped and the only noise is your heartbeat, pumping the blood through your head? When your body is just crying out for somebody to hold you? I just wait for his touch...but...too late I realize. It's better this way, I think. I pushed you away, yes... but it was the right thing to do. It surely was!!!  
  
I swear I heard your voice. I turn around, just searching for brown eyes. Damn, I have to forget it. I munst`t think about this sparkling eyes causing butterflys all the time ang making my blood rush. And this soft glance you dedicated to me... Only to me, right?  
  
I`m still looking around, searching for you. It takes years till I notice that I must have been wrong. Your not here. And you won`t be here again ever. I wanted it this way, didn`t I?  
  
I`m still standing on the street finally realizing the people staring at me. I decide to go home or better: the place I used to call like this. It don`t feels so anymore. There won´t be anyone waiting for me, now that even Finn has left...she let me alone. Oh, damn how could she?  
  
Yes, I let here go. It was wrong I know now, but... If she don`t wanted to stay with me...even if it hurts so much...there is no reason to make here stay. Maybe she is feeling good right now...I really hope so. I let Chiaki go to...but was right, wasn`t it? I don`t want him to hurt me. I`m just...I`m so afraid of loving him more than I`m supposed to…one day... And what is if he leaves me then?  
  
I feel tears appearing in my eyes, running down my face.  
  
No, it`s better this way, it`s better!  
  
I finally reach my Appartment, close door and start to cry loudly.  
  
I go into the kitchen, knowing whats waiting there for me, laying on the table. I bought the vodka and the package of sleeping pills one week ago. They lay there since that day and I wasn`t even able to touch but now time has come, so I think. I open the bottle, poured a glass and drink it in one go. Buah, terrible taste, I think. But I force me to take the next glass.  
  
I just want to still my thoughts torturing myself. For how long didn`t I sleep? I don`t know... too long after all. I just feel getting weaker day by day. I just want to finish it. Now and here.  
  
I take the next glass, feeling actually strange by now. I`m not used to drink so much.  
  
I can`t control start crying again. Hot tears running down my face. I don`t know why I´m so terribly sad. My thoughts are lamed. I feel quite sick but I don`t mind.  
  
It`ll be over soon. I say to myself. It`ll be over, little girl, don`t cry… don't cry…I wonder why I talk to myself this way. Maybe because there`s nobody there to say such thinghs to me…  
  
I start opening the package and pulling out the tablets. I never thought how much I would need really. I take a hand, squelch them till it`s turns to white powder and give it into a glass of water.  
  
For so long I wondered what I would feel like in this moment... but now I don`t think or care about anythingh. I just start drinking. I doesn`t take long and I feel getting warmer. Warmer an tired. Wonderfully tired... I just close my eyes and let everything around me disappear. I flow away.  
  
Only few minutes later I fall back to the groung. I hear the doorbell ringing. Just a hushed noise but I stand up without thinking, it`s not so easy to walk by this state but I open the door and find...Chiaki.  
  
He stares at with a scared expession in his eyes...beautifull eyes...but why so scared..beuatifull eyed, Chiaki...?  
  
"Marron!" I hear his voice. "Marron what wrong? You`re so pale, what`s... what`s happend?"  
  
I smile at him.  
  
Oh, because of me. I think. He cares...Cute little Chiaki...  
  
I don`t answer.I lift my hand to touch his face, but my legs are getting weaker and I sink to my knees slowly. The smile dissapears and I feel a prick pain in my head.  
  
It`s getting cold..." I wisper.  
  
I hardly feel that he puts his arms around me.  
  
I`m so tired...tired...tried... It`s getting dark... The warm has left I just feel cold.  
  
Very hushed I hear Chiakis voice. He`s screaming. ...screaming?  
  
I slowly open my eyes again. For the last time.  
  
"How could you do this? Marron! How could you do this to me?"  
  
I see the pain in his eyes, even more than in mine. Tears are droping from his chin.  
  
He sees my eyes opend and while he`s crying his voice turns gentle.  
  
"Marron, I love you. I love you, love you, love you. I could tell you this for a million times if that would you make you belive me. Please, Marron, please... you mustn`t die." He laughs sadly. "I won`t allow this, I won`t... You have to stay with me; Marron..."  
  
I try to smile. Try to say anything. Anything that makes him know how much I really love him, but...I`m to weak. All I bring out is:  
  
"I´m tired, Chiaki. Very, very tired..." 


End file.
